Hey everyone my name is Dana and this is episode 22 of the ask a question show the show in which you ask a question that any type of like narcissistic otherwise abusive or toxic relationship or situation and I along with the rest of the community here will do our very best to help answer it our goal is to give you the feedback and the support that you need so that you can move forward in getting the clarity the closure and healing that you so deserve and so today’s question comes from Heaven Heaven is a commenter on another tutorial.
And she had asked Dear Dana how do I live with a psychopath while I’m waiting to leave ok so fantastic question and with really any of my answers my whole goal with the show with my website with everything that I’m doing is I want to empower you guys to regain faith. Faith in yourself in faith in your judgment and in your ability to to make correct decisions and so the tools that I am going to leave you with and then that I have been saying over and over in these.
Tutorials maybe I need to kind of make it more clearly that’s exactly why I’m doing that is so you can make the best decision you can at the time with the knowledge that you have because you know this person best so my two cents is my two cents I do I don’t know them as well as you do so how i think is the most helpful way for any of us to go about making a solid decision is to use first and foremost logic and reason and then to back that up with appropriate.
How Do I Live With a Psychopath While Waiting to Leave Episode 22 of the Ask a Question Show
Emotion right or I should say appropriately placed emotion and so this is kind of a lot of people get tangled up is when you’re dealing with manipulative person you’re using emotion first and foremost and then logic and reason are like trailing way behind and that’s intentional that’s why there’s so much confusion and these relationships is because manipulative people in order to effectively manipulate they can’t have you use your logic and reason because if you do if you were to use those two things you would see what was going on and he would leave so they have to keep you know and.
Poker they call it keeping you are a person on tilt so it’s basically you’re getting a person to behave in a way that’s not normally how they would behave because you’re hitting them trying to use the emotions against them basically so with these kinds of situations it’s really helpful to figure out using her logic and reason figure out is this emotion appropriate so in your situation it would be you know the decisions that you need to come up with with how do you move forward and living with this person needs to revolve around safety and sanity and how do you.
Stay safe and sane when you’re dealing with a psychotic person because that’s really what it is but the narcissists and sociopaths are psychopaths are antisocial they’re basically say functioning psychotics is what it is because they don’t use logic and reason to make their decisions they just go based off of their whims and that’s why their behavior so erratic and unpredictable and dangerous because we never know how they’re going to be they never know how they’re going to react it’s just kind of whatever they want at the moment so you really need to do whatever your logic and reason an.
Appropriate emotion tells you what you need to do so if you’re if you’re feeling like you are in danger is that an appropriate emotion and kind of try to analyze like actually I actually would that as the one exception to this if you’re feeling like that you’re in danger don’t bother trying to analyze it just get the heck out of there because you’re good you’re picking up some sort of cues on some sort of level that something is off in in don’t try to analyze that one just get the heck out with their other.
Behavior you know again using kind of logic and reason knowing that you’re dealing with an illogical and irrational person so to have any hope of emotional involvement with that is an exercise in crazy making for you so whatever comes out of their mouth whatever actions they have aren’t sane. Again they’re functioning psychotic person functional psychosis is really what they have so don’t let it get ruffled its okay this person is a psychopath of course they’re going to act like a psychopath of course their behavior is going to be illogical and irrational and.
I need to going to stay here and tell you can afford to leave her or what have you been I understand and quit being surprised by illogical and irrational behavior cuz that’s what they’re about so I would try to use this time to save as much money as you can to really get your ducks in a row to develop a safety plan on how we’re going to leave where you’re gonna go, and again I will link down to how to do a safety plan down below and then just kind of practice like detaching.
Emotionally and just watching their behavior and not being emotionally invested in it and just kind of seeing how illogical and irrational it is and just kind of getting curious about it that’s really wild but I can’t believe that this person really thinks that I’m you know going to buy into this or that I believe this or that I’m going to act a certain way because once you’re able to detach emotionally and you realize that you’re not in a relationship that you’re really in a manipulationship with a person it almost becomes.
Kind of fascinating where it’s just like this is really wild you know and you can just kind of see it for what it is but of course again as always safety first always so you you even get out of there sooner than later there’s no point in the matter how fascinating their behavior is a no no matter you know how tough it’s gonna be on you financially your safety in your sanity do count for everything really so please make you know huge efforts to get out of there.
You may want to call I would really encourage you to call your local domestic violence shelter telling what’s going on see if they have any resources available to you that can help you get out of there sooner so I hope that helps take care be safe please be safe I will also bring down to my support group with all my website I would encourage you or anybody else that’s needing some feedback of support or that you’d like to get give feedback and support others it’s a great place to go so I hope to.
See you there which we can chat more about this if you’d like you guys take care and as always if you have any questions comments concerns frustration and ideas insights you know you need some support you just want to say hi don’t be a stranger you know where to find me I will talk to you soon and as always lots of love to you guys you’re not alone you are so not crazy and you really can heal from this and if you go on to have an amazing life because after the best revenge is a good life so take.