In the event the parents can’t decide who should have custody of the kids What is the ruling regarding this matter in Islam? Maintenance Payments are to be paid by the father without exceptions The Quran says, the woman bears the child, but she bears the Baby under the name of her husband. The child which was born for his father.
Has to clothe, provide food, shelter. etc. for the child in Surah AlBaqarah Maintenance should be paid till this daughter gets married the maintenance for his son should be the same it shouldn’t stop when he reaches the age of puberty what should he eat or during? It’s not going to be enough.
And he would stay hungry. resulting to possible death. The father has to look after his kids. Who should the custody be given to after a divorce? There is a different Islamic ruling between boys girls, if it is a girl, she should remain with her mom till she is 9 years of age, and after that she should be turned over to her father.
The female child shouldn’t be removed from her mother till then. The male child should remain with his mom till he is between the ages of 5 and 6 after that period he should be turned over to his Father. Why is the male child being turned over to his father sooner? So the male child can grow up around his father and other males. if he would to stay around women most of the time,.
It could influence his character In today’s society it has been brought up and researched that when a person who has many feminine traits grew up around women. at least that is what we are hearing. So in Fiqh (Islamic ruling) it states, a male child shall remain with his mother till the age of 5 and 6.
Voice of the Child of Divorce
Dear mom and dad, i know that you are hurting. i’m hurting, too. I feel and feed off your tension, fear and shock. Although I’m young and cannot express verbally what is happening in our lives, I’m still feeling the impact. My heart is broken every time I have to give up a parent. My sense of security is lost. Please don’t assume that I am resilient. Please don’t assume that my life will be exactly as it was and that I will continue to feel the same love from both of you. I am a human being just like you.
My needs are just like yours. I need love, attention, nurturing, stability, consistency, affection, understanding, patience and mostly to be wanted. When you fight over me or put me in the middle of your argument, you are sending me the message that winning with each other is more important than my life. I am learning from you that is better to be right than to be loved.
You are teaching me that i came from a person who is unlovable and wrong, and that I am somehow wrong, too. When you confide your hurt in my heart, you are storing up adult pain and robbing me of my childhood. You are taking away my belief that love is unconditional and replacing it with a message that tells me to become hard and not to love because I will get hurt and not be able to recover.
You may not understand this today, and i am so small that you are not thinking about my future, but you are putting me at a greater risk of getting a divorce myself. At times you are risking my safety to fill a void in your heart. My safety is your job. Without you and your protection I am unshielded from the world. This will manifest in irrational fears for me, because I will stay in a state of fight or flight for most of my life. Someday this initial shock will wear off, but how you choose to parent me through this crisis.