The trouble with evan The place is Hamilton, Ontario, but it could be any place. The boy”s name is Evan, but we”ve all known someone a lot like him. When he was four, Evan was classified as conduct disordered, a holy terror for his teachers and his parents. Dear Karen, just a short note to let you know that Evan did not receive a star today, as we had some difficulties this morning. Evan portrayed quite an aggressive behavior at our snack table.
And eventually had to be removed. I allowed Evan to go outside. Evan gouged his fingernails into the back of a young boy, leaving a long mark in his skin. There was no parent. .apparent reason for Evan’s actions. Evan grabbed a classmate by the neck in a head lock and left fingernail marks embedded in the back of the boy’s neck. Evan is a very confused, unhappy boy, who does not appear to be in control of his behavior at this time.
We are hoping that you’ll be able to set up an interview time next week to discuss evan’s behavior. We are having some difficulty with Evan following directions and interactions with his classmates. He is eleven, in grade six. He has above average intelligence, and above average talent for getting into mischief. Foreshadowings of serious problems. He shoplifted. I”d maybe say for three years we”ve been aware of it The latest incident has been Evan has started smoking . and that was brought to our attention by. his school.
He was. . suspended the last day of school before christmas. He was caught smoking on the. . the playground at school. So you can get right in there? Just the. wallpaper we want us to stay away from, you know. Evan’s mother, Karen, works as a receptionist. Evan has a sister, Kimberly, who is seven. Kimberly is hearing impaired. You’re doing a great job. ! It’s about time we got to this, eh?.
The stepfather, mike, is a welder. He grew up on a farm, doing a man”s work when he was Evan”s age. His father died when he was only fourteen. Screws. Yes. One There’s one down here. Should I pick it up ? Where? No.
Oh, there they are, i think ! Between them, there is an ominous generation gap, and it”s growing wider, because of Mike’s frustration with Evan”s behavior. What’s the worst thing that ever happened to you? I can”t think of it, ”cause I was, like. such a big list of bad things like, I can”t remember all of them. Well, take me down the list a little bit. I remember once I got caught playing. like. I. I set a little bonfire in the washroom at my old school.
Evan is often in trouble for playing with matches. once, on a family holiday, he almost started a forest fire. Myself and my brother in law happened to turn around, and we see all these flames and smoke and I mean he set off bushes on fire, so we ran over and. this one tree was just. going pretty good, so we had to go and run and get pails of water to put it out. When we asked him, he just said: I just wanted to see if it would burn. He’s to the age when he thinks that he can do whatever he wants. He doesn’t have to listen to rules, he doesn’t have to follow instructions, he does what he pleases and he knows there”s going to be consequences but it doesn”t matter.
In positive parenting we are searching for the reason that things happen. Eventually Mike and Karin enrolled in a parenting class, run by Barbara Burls, looking for insights to relieve the psychological pressures that were building in their home. I am sure I don’t need to convince you as a group of parents that sometimes in your relationships with your kids you find yourselves reacting with emotions that you just can’t imagine where they come from. Evan soon became the focus of the group.
Umm you didnt text to me tell me that you was coming to see her uh. i thought you was gonna do this like in the day time or something. like. i dont know. how we gonna do this? it is daytime. i mean when shes in school or. i dont know im not even comfortable like doing this.